you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
