i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
