Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
