Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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