On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
