I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
