Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
