If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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