Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Four minutes until I can fart!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
