Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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