The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
