He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
