so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
