After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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