So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
