Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
