dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
