Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
