I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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