Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize