you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
