Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
