Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
