i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
