So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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