Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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