Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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