Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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