Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
