i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
