she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
