Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Your topless pictures make me question reality
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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