I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
