Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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