my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
