So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
