The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
