Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
