OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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