Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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