I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Come see our sink grown plant.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
