im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
