so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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