How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
