She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
