I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
