if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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