WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
