"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
