I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
