mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
this hospital has no fireball
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
