We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
